Dear Santa,

I’m sorry I wasn’t naughty enough this year....but there were times, like when I suggested that johnny glue his joy stick to his leg---how was I to know that he would take Me seriously?...or when mikey got his "toy" stuck in that bottle, that was just silly for him to even try....or when I told tommy that all he had was really Mine, I had no idea he would send Me all his credit cards, now Santa what would you have done?  I had to show My appreciation and use, otherwise he would have been sad, and I could not have that...I had NO idea that there was a limit...silly boy should have told Me that...giggles....or when bobby got caught in his wife's panties, now Santa that was not what I meant by "get into your wife's panties"...LAUGHING...

So you see I have been a pretty good lil girl, Santa, just a few misunderstandings...So please bring Me EVERYTHING on My wishlist and lots of money too.  Naughty or Nice, you still love Me, don't you Santa?

PS--Santa I'm sorry with all the naughty play, I didn't even get to the mall to do a little lap sitting for you this year and I know how much you like that.  I’m sure your endless shifts have made you a little tired and somewhat sleepy, but you can't blame Me with that this year, now can you?

Now for what I want---

I’d really like My own fleet of slave elves, Santa....some pointy-eared cuties that will listen to Me and OBEY.  If you can’t bring Me men in tights, I’d like a power tool, and you know what I mean, not Black and Decker...and PINK is My favorite color.

And Santa, I’m sorry I’m unable to leave you a glass of milk.  I'm not breastfeeding.

Happy Holidays and I'll see you cu--ing down My chimney soon. GIGGLES